Bad Hobbits

I think I'm falling into a bad habit. It's becoming too easy to watch life go by rather than be active in it.
Remember that movie with Peter Sellers called "Being there"? All he would say no matter what would happen was "I like to watch." Thats because he was raised in an old mansion where all he did was watch TV and it became the sum total of his existence - except that when he finally was exposed to the outside world and gets hit by a car everyone he meets is fascinated by his philosophy (sort of a pre Forest Gump style)
Its not a dramatic movie by any means - more comedic but it makes you think about how people can misinterpret each others actions.
And thats the problem-he wasn't active at all in his own life. Just carried along by others and their decisions for him.
The difference is I am twice the age of Chancey (his name in the movie) and I've spent a lifetime as a leading lady. What could I possibly learn by watching?
Maybe riding a slow train for awhile won't develop a bad habit - just a different perspective.

"Where ever you are - BE There!"

I once worked for a man who used this expression to his employees on a regular basis. His purpose was to effect some kind of concentration and thereby increase their skill level .

It seems to take on different meanings as the years go by for me. I used to think of it as just a clever way to remind myself to focus on the task at hand and accomplish the goal.
Today when I thought of it I smiled, because I have never felt more alive than today. It wasn't about achieving any goal at all. I AM BEING. Reducing my ambitions to a simpler form has brought the important things in life into focus

And what makes today so special? - Just knowing that the ledge I'm resting on at this moment feels good, because I get to appreciate my family -who they are, what they are becoming, and the part that I play in their lives and vice versa.

Its the opposite of the expression "lips are speaking but mind is NOT engaged" joke.
It's not trying to escape life with recreational drugs and alcohol - at least not on a regular basis.
Its committing yourself to the process of living 24 7's.

That kind of intensity can be exhausting and we all know people that are intensely passionate about what they do.
But can they ride shotgun too? THAT's the BEING part!!

THE ART OF BEING HAPPY

There are a lot ways to make someone happy but start with understanding that you can't change someone after you marry them. If happiness is achievable at all it will be by acceptance or not at all.

Like who you are and accept yourself first understanding that you are becoming who you will be every day. Choose your habits carefully.
Meet others needs kindly,but take care of yourself constantly. Move toward your destiny daily, consciously, and completely. Happiness lives in the same neighborhood.

HOW TO KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLDER

In case you didn't realize it your parents are aging right before your eyes. You may consider them ageless because they look the same as they always have, but their reflexes and processing skills are slowing down -waaaay down.
When you were little they used to allow you to think you were smarter - but now that the tables are reversed and you are smarter than they are (or are they just letting you think that?) navigating cell phones, computers, cameras,and everything else that comes with a friggin icon to interpret can really send a senior into a state of exasperation not to mention a total state of fear.

Frustration sets in first after initially reasoning - how difficult can this be if any beautiful girl( see photo) can do it? But as easy as it is to read the instruction manuals - maintaining the information for recall in a crowded noisy mall is NOT. Thats where I begin to realize I may be "gone by" - a frequently used expression my mother in law for fruits and vegetables still in the refridgerator for more than a day.

Its not that I mind getting older so much; I just fear the speed with which it is happening. And so many of the skills that where important when I was younger don't even count anymore. Who needs sewing or musical instrument skills, when you can show creativity with tattoos or plug into an ipod!

Just try asking a young person with some help with your blue tooth connection. They don't need no stinking manuals no matter what make or model you have. A few seconds in their hands and with lightening dexterity - ZAP -POW -its no problem lady.

I think I have gained quite a lot of admiration for this next generation after all.

GIVING OF YOURSELF

Whenever I visited my parents dad would always want to give me something from their home so I tried not to make any comments about ANY thing . No matter how I tried, when I was leaving he would hand me the object of my comment as a gift. I guess it didn't help that I already had all I needed and gifting to me would be difficult anyway. Or maybe it made up for what he couldn't give me when I was growing up.

I find myself now in a similar quandary with my own children. They are certainly capable of providing for themselves and of course even through college I met their practical needs but as time passes I want them to have the things that I love so that they will remember me after I am gone. Not to understand me - only to cause them to remember me in a good way. Like recipes from their childhood and flower bulbs, seeds or herbs from my garden that they can grow in theirs, my friends that love me and them too( see photo) My china cabinets are overflowing with teapots and teacups used by family and friends.

That was the gift my father really gave me - to know that spending time with family and friends sharing coffee, tea and stories is remembering him in the best way of all.
Dad wasn't so far off when he gave me those unwanted items. It wasn't their value or that I could even use them, but how much they would help me to remember him as my father forever.
And I do..........all the time

Now where is that old cowboy boot knickknack anyway?

PEOPLE WITH BAGGAGE

I just had another birthday this week and over the years I've gotten into the habit of contemplating my experiences and deciding which ones determine ultimately who I am becoming. It does mean that I need TIME to reflect and of course you know by now that I do that best in hot water -literally.

Soooooooo I was taking a bath on my birthday this week and it occurred to me that I may have some issues with people who leave nasty messages on my phone. For one - when they hang up they feel better because they just dumped a bunch of crap but I feel rotten because the craps on me and the longer I wait before addressing it the worse I feel until I do.

It's a nasty technique to use and I was wondering why it's not one that I have adopted? And then I knew. It's like a release valve on a pressure cooker ( I used to have one of those to can salmon when I lived in Alaska) If you allow the temperature to go too high the pot will blow. What you watch is the little toggle cap on the steam valve that tells you the pressure is steady and just right.

You see if I have a problem with someone I should have the guts to say it to their face which is difficult for me. Instead, I leave the relationship for awhile until I'm ready to talk about how or why I felt the way I did. But I'm willing to talk about it, probe the past if necessary, get to the proverbial bottom if you will to find the solution.

There are two different ways to deal with hot steam. You can ignore the toggle cap and just let it blow or you can read the signs and adjust the temperature periodically to maintain the cooking pressure. Both will render the original ingredients tender, but which one will be edible?

Which brings me back to assessing my issues once a year as I age gracefully into the sunset. I guess I have come in contact with some people who refuse to adjust the heat in their life. The ones that never see themselves with over limit baggage. But if they took a little time to reflect perhaps they may notice a pattern of habits that hurt - without allowing any opportunity for defense, they explode at others to feel better. That's the evil part. They enjoy dumping their baggage all over everyone else. Randomly sometimes and deliberately on others.

That's not how I want to live at all. I like to travel lite anyway. Just me - and my bathtub.
Mothergoose

LIFE IS LIKE GOLF

I try to play at least 3 rounds of golf a week and it never fails that I come away with a new appreciation for the game. It's been great playing with my husband which is originally why I took up the game - to spend more time together, but I play more without him at this point!

Sometimes I have very poor sportsmanship,and flail a club tearing the green irreparably when I miss a putt, or lose concentration altogether and flub the shot - there goes the ball into the pond! Now what is the rule for lost ball again?? But ultimately the people I'm playing with see the real me. And I don't think I like who I am at all. Golf is a very revealing activity. Take note therapists!

I've also heard it said that golf is boring and not demanding as a sport, but do you realize how long 18 holes are when you can't par every hole? It gives new meaning to the word perseverance. Handicaps are meant to even the play for everyone but if mine is 30 it means I'm that many strokes over par of 72 and probably need a lesson.

Whether you play at public or private clubs the people riding the carts can display a multitude of personality quirks. And the seniors are the most wicked of all. Not only are they DEMON putters, their short but direct drives can lure the strongest driver into believing the hole is all but over. 75 yearolds beat me regularly.
Always fascinating to watch is the way a player scores himself. Will they count every stroke, or take a mulligan on every tee box? Do they count the penalty strokes and hole out every ball no matter how close to the pin. Have they even read the golf rule book or do they just play for the thrill of the drive - BOOM KRACK A TOA ?!! Ohhhhh I LOVE that sound!!

Then there's golf etiquette..........is it "ready"golf or should the player with the best last score go first? I can't wait to get to the next tee box and do it again. I really love golf attire and I may have a bigger collection of spiked shoes than I do heels (they're so cute). Oh and then there's the tournament games they make up - like best ball, match play or Arizona scramble. WHO KNEW???
I'm troubled by how hard I have to focus when setting up my shots and wonder if that will ever lighten up for me. I try not to be so serious and relax but eventually I feel my grip tighten and I'm talking myself through the next shot again. Stretch, smile , relax, (feel how cute you look in that new skort - thank God I had my knees lipoed) - NOW GRIP IT AND RIP IT!!!!!!

Oh the world of golf - what an interesting pastime.
Mother goose