I dont get to have a say

Being the wife of a CEO has its draw backs. Many times you dont get to have your say even if you know the intricate details of the schemes and strategies of the board members and their staff. You have to stifle every thought and let it go even when you see trouble ahead it is not your call to advise or warn the bosses. Thats when you spend the most money. Its the only consolation. The only thing to do is enjoy the lifestyle that you are in while it lasts because it will never last. Thats the nature of of money. Enjoy it while it lasts. Hello - Nordstroms!!!

Kind Woman

How is it possible that some women can get all the way to their 50's and be so delusional about themselves? You know -the ones that masquerade as a younger version of themselves and never reach a graceful maturity. I wonder why a lot because I'm meeting more of them though the male version is easier to spot, because it has a name: Male menopause. The men become teenagers again. Sad as that is it's worse when women do it. The aging process is not as kind to us as it is to men.
"Men get better looking as they age but women just get old" is something my own mother would always say.
If a woman is fortunate enough to preserve her youthful appearance why can't her personality still show the experience of all those decades? Shouldn't that be as appealing and desirable?

I played a tournament with a lady whose entire game was spent acting like a spoiled six year old instead of the 60 year old she actually was. She looked good for sixty though.
I know another pretty lady who has more experiences than most have in a lifetime but she spends her days searching for true love based on how attracted they are to her looks!

They forget to value the wisdom that comes from their experiences and their story.
You can't stop this aging process. It twists and turns and every decade gathers years that may or may not show at all. But inside on the pages of your mind, an epic unfolds waiting to be shared.

It's never too late

Today I finally found the wool argyle sweater that I wanted for my father. When we took my parents to England ten years ago he spilled Welsh rarebit cheese on the front and after the washing it had shrunk. It really looked so good on him that whenever I think of him he's wearing that sweater so I was excited to be able to replace it.
Its the same navy colour with leather buttons and on sale too. I must confess to a serious emotional reaction when I saw it. I just knew I could find one if I was persistent.
If only he was still here to wear it. He passed away 3 years ago but now I understand why people go out and spend the money they should have after someone dies. Somehow it brings them back for a little while.
I love you dad.....

Being best friends

Over the years my best friend Jane has kept me busy learning to be nice. In fact thats all she wants on her headstone after her name and date span. "She was nice". I on the other hand have never had that description added to my name. So I pay attention when I see Jane demonstrating it and she does on a regular basis. I've never seen her belligerent to anyone or anything for that matter in the 20 years I've known her.
She can imitate her mother (from Arkansas) in a very funny way and that always makes me laugh. I request that demonstration every time we visit now that I live on the other side of the country. But she is always caring and concerned for anyone who needs it. She's consistent about it and I trust that eventually it will rub off on me.
So Jane Anne - here's to you - the nicest person I've ever known.

What are you doing in this down economy?

Excuse me for pointing this out but any student of history will tell you it repeats itself. So why do we Americans continue to try and reinvent the wheel? When this country gets lazy, obese, and zoned out on the boob tube we become wasteful,wanton, and worse we feel no shame about it.

Reuse, recycle, and restrict yourself from buying as a form of entertainment.
The economy is not any worse than my checkbook gets (on a micro scale of course) when I dip into the overage account.
When that happens I go back to basics and cook from scratch, shop at goodwill, and have a garage sale for extra cash to shop at good will. When the stuff can't be used anymore - then I take it to Good will for a tax deduction. Here's my 80 year old mother rearranging the displays for the second day of the sale. What a team player and she can still work harder than any of her children.
Besides its not and economy she hasn't seen before coming from the Great Depression Years and to her this is still the land of opportunity and the greatest country on earth. Yah!!

I can see for miles and miles

I like living in an apartment. I like Bruce - the doorman and I like the feeling of being able to come and go knowing that someone will recognize me every day. I haven't had that since I left Alaska ten years ago.
I guess I'd forgotten the importance of human contact. And I've learned that you don't have to have intense discussions with everyone, every day. Sometimes just a friendly greeting or a smile goes a long way if its consistent.
And it seems I have more time now to listen, and really hear what is being said even without a lot of words.
Tony the night doorman had to come up and check on us when the fire alarm went on this week. I was searing a small tenderloin with mushrooms and I guess it was smokier than I realized. Later that night it occurred to me that I've had more interaction with neighbors and doormen this first week than I've had all year at the old house.
I like that a lot and I'm surprised by the realization. I didn't know I needed people as much as that.
Thank you providence

Wow! for Women -Thanks Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin has brought the federal government down to the people's level. She has the ability to convert the foreign language of congress into terms that small town America can understand. She is opening the secrets of the business of big government to reveal what is behind the curtain. It is NOT pretty.

Most amazing are the liberal pundits that criticize everything from her hair to her accomplishments as Alaska's governor of which they know even less. This is making me sick. The half truths out there about her work in Alaska is under more scrutiny than cancer genes in a petri dish?

It doesn't help that Alaska has always been "up there" and far removed from the lower 48. Most Americans know very little about the mineral rich state that has now contributed the most dynamic and feisty candidate in the history of politics and she has the old Washington guard and liberals running amok!!

What is it about her that is shaking up the politics as usual? When I lived in Alaska almost 24 years everyone knew every one else. The transparency with which you lived your life could be exhausting at times but it has proved to be the real training ground for this governor. That's why she seems so real.

BECAUSE she is.

Did I ever tell you about the time

Films do a great job of capturing the old days and moments in time that we all do well to remember. But sometimes I miss listening to stories about the old days when my mother used to tell it from her perspective. Her voice was so passionate even when her descriptions were vague and you always felt the shock or fear.

One of her stories about the real abduction and murder of a small girl in Ontario froze us in terror and we never failed to jump into the ditch just from the SOUND of a car coming around the corner when we were out walking. After that, the mere mention of her name -Tomasina Baker- would conjure the image of her lifeless body and possibly our own demise if we would not obey.

After she became religious the scary stories were about the future, world events, being ready for the rapture. Again her passion kept us clinging in fear though its hard to jump into the ditch every time you screwed up your life so the next best thing was to go back to church and get right with God. But I can see the training she instilled in every one of us about fear. Even the Bible talks about fear being the beginning of wisdom.

There is a healthy aspect in being afraid at times. It may be that sixth sense that tells us something isn't right. It could be that moment when our conscience reminds us about a wrong choice and being fearful of the consequences.
Either way she instilled in us a lifelong lesson to pay attention when you feel fear or at least acknowledge it.
Of course sometimes you have to feel it then do it anyway. Did I ever tell you about the time....

Bad Hobbits

I think I'm falling into a bad habit. It's becoming too easy to watch life go by rather than be active in it.
Remember that movie with Peter Sellers called "Being there"? All he would say no matter what would happen was "I like to watch." Thats because he was raised in an old mansion where all he did was watch TV and it became the sum total of his existence - except that when he finally was exposed to the outside world and gets hit by a car everyone he meets is fascinated by his philosophy (sort of a pre Forest Gump style)
Its not a dramatic movie by any means - more comedic but it makes you think about how people can misinterpret each others actions.
And thats the problem-he wasn't active at all in his own life. Just carried along by others and their decisions for him.
The difference is I am twice the age of Chancey (his name in the movie) and I've spent a lifetime as a leading lady. What could I possibly learn by watching?
Maybe riding a slow train for awhile won't develop a bad habit - just a different perspective.

"Where ever you are - BE There!"

I once worked for a man who used this expression to his employees on a regular basis. His purpose was to effect some kind of concentration and thereby increase their skill level .

It seems to take on different meanings as the years go by for me. I used to think of it as just a clever way to remind myself to focus on the task at hand and accomplish the goal.
Today when I thought of it I smiled, because I have never felt more alive than today. It wasn't about achieving any goal at all. I AM BEING. Reducing my ambitions to a simpler form has brought the important things in life into focus

And what makes today so special? - Just knowing that the ledge I'm resting on at this moment feels good, because I get to appreciate my family -who they are, what they are becoming, and the part that I play in their lives and vice versa.

Its the opposite of the expression "lips are speaking but mind is NOT engaged" joke.
It's not trying to escape life with recreational drugs and alcohol - at least not on a regular basis.
Its committing yourself to the process of living 24 7's.

That kind of intensity can be exhausting and we all know people that are intensely passionate about what they do.
But can they ride shotgun too? THAT's the BEING part!!

THE ART OF BEING HAPPY

There are a lot ways to make someone happy but start with understanding that you can't change someone after you marry them. If happiness is achievable at all it will be by acceptance or not at all.

Like who you are and accept yourself first understanding that you are becoming who you will be every day. Choose your habits carefully.
Meet others needs kindly,but take care of yourself constantly. Move toward your destiny daily, consciously, and completely. Happiness lives in the same neighborhood.

HOW TO KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLDER

In case you didn't realize it your parents are aging right before your eyes. You may consider them ageless because they look the same as they always have, but their reflexes and processing skills are slowing down -waaaay down.
When you were little they used to allow you to think you were smarter - but now that the tables are reversed and you are smarter than they are (or are they just letting you think that?) navigating cell phones, computers, cameras,and everything else that comes with a friggin icon to interpret can really send a senior into a state of exasperation not to mention a total state of fear.

Frustration sets in first after initially reasoning - how difficult can this be if any beautiful girl( see photo) can do it? But as easy as it is to read the instruction manuals - maintaining the information for recall in a crowded noisy mall is NOT. Thats where I begin to realize I may be "gone by" - a frequently used expression my mother in law for fruits and vegetables still in the refridgerator for more than a day.

Its not that I mind getting older so much; I just fear the speed with which it is happening. And so many of the skills that where important when I was younger don't even count anymore. Who needs sewing or musical instrument skills, when you can show creativity with tattoos or plug into an ipod!

Just try asking a young person with some help with your blue tooth connection. They don't need no stinking manuals no matter what make or model you have. A few seconds in their hands and with lightening dexterity - ZAP -POW -its no problem lady.

I think I have gained quite a lot of admiration for this next generation after all.

GIVING OF YOURSELF

Whenever I visited my parents dad would always want to give me something from their home so I tried not to make any comments about ANY thing . No matter how I tried, when I was leaving he would hand me the object of my comment as a gift. I guess it didn't help that I already had all I needed and gifting to me would be difficult anyway. Or maybe it made up for what he couldn't give me when I was growing up.

I find myself now in a similar quandary with my own children. They are certainly capable of providing for themselves and of course even through college I met their practical needs but as time passes I want them to have the things that I love so that they will remember me after I am gone. Not to understand me - only to cause them to remember me in a good way. Like recipes from their childhood and flower bulbs, seeds or herbs from my garden that they can grow in theirs, my friends that love me and them too( see photo) My china cabinets are overflowing with teapots and teacups used by family and friends.

That was the gift my father really gave me - to know that spending time with family and friends sharing coffee, tea and stories is remembering him in the best way of all.
Dad wasn't so far off when he gave me those unwanted items. It wasn't their value or that I could even use them, but how much they would help me to remember him as my father forever.
And I do..........all the time

Now where is that old cowboy boot knickknack anyway?

PEOPLE WITH BAGGAGE

I just had another birthday this week and over the years I've gotten into the habit of contemplating my experiences and deciding which ones determine ultimately who I am becoming. It does mean that I need TIME to reflect and of course you know by now that I do that best in hot water -literally.

Soooooooo I was taking a bath on my birthday this week and it occurred to me that I may have some issues with people who leave nasty messages on my phone. For one - when they hang up they feel better because they just dumped a bunch of crap but I feel rotten because the craps on me and the longer I wait before addressing it the worse I feel until I do.

It's a nasty technique to use and I was wondering why it's not one that I have adopted? And then I knew. It's like a release valve on a pressure cooker ( I used to have one of those to can salmon when I lived in Alaska) If you allow the temperature to go too high the pot will blow. What you watch is the little toggle cap on the steam valve that tells you the pressure is steady and just right.

You see if I have a problem with someone I should have the guts to say it to their face which is difficult for me. Instead, I leave the relationship for awhile until I'm ready to talk about how or why I felt the way I did. But I'm willing to talk about it, probe the past if necessary, get to the proverbial bottom if you will to find the solution.

There are two different ways to deal with hot steam. You can ignore the toggle cap and just let it blow or you can read the signs and adjust the temperature periodically to maintain the cooking pressure. Both will render the original ingredients tender, but which one will be edible?

Which brings me back to assessing my issues once a year as I age gracefully into the sunset. I guess I have come in contact with some people who refuse to adjust the heat in their life. The ones that never see themselves with over limit baggage. But if they took a little time to reflect perhaps they may notice a pattern of habits that hurt - without allowing any opportunity for defense, they explode at others to feel better. That's the evil part. They enjoy dumping their baggage all over everyone else. Randomly sometimes and deliberately on others.

That's not how I want to live at all. I like to travel lite anyway. Just me - and my bathtub.
Mothergoose

LIFE IS LIKE GOLF

I try to play at least 3 rounds of golf a week and it never fails that I come away with a new appreciation for the game. It's been great playing with my husband which is originally why I took up the game - to spend more time together, but I play more without him at this point!

Sometimes I have very poor sportsmanship,and flail a club tearing the green irreparably when I miss a putt, or lose concentration altogether and flub the shot - there goes the ball into the pond! Now what is the rule for lost ball again?? But ultimately the people I'm playing with see the real me. And I don't think I like who I am at all. Golf is a very revealing activity. Take note therapists!

I've also heard it said that golf is boring and not demanding as a sport, but do you realize how long 18 holes are when you can't par every hole? It gives new meaning to the word perseverance. Handicaps are meant to even the play for everyone but if mine is 30 it means I'm that many strokes over par of 72 and probably need a lesson.

Whether you play at public or private clubs the people riding the carts can display a multitude of personality quirks. And the seniors are the most wicked of all. Not only are they DEMON putters, their short but direct drives can lure the strongest driver into believing the hole is all but over. 75 yearolds beat me regularly.
Always fascinating to watch is the way a player scores himself. Will they count every stroke, or take a mulligan on every tee box? Do they count the penalty strokes and hole out every ball no matter how close to the pin. Have they even read the golf rule book or do they just play for the thrill of the drive - BOOM KRACK A TOA ?!! Ohhhhh I LOVE that sound!!

Then there's golf etiquette..........is it "ready"golf or should the player with the best last score go first? I can't wait to get to the next tee box and do it again. I really love golf attire and I may have a bigger collection of spiked shoes than I do heels (they're so cute). Oh and then there's the tournament games they make up - like best ball, match play or Arizona scramble. WHO KNEW???
I'm troubled by how hard I have to focus when setting up my shots and wonder if that will ever lighten up for me. I try not to be so serious and relax but eventually I feel my grip tighten and I'm talking myself through the next shot again. Stretch, smile , relax, (feel how cute you look in that new skort - thank God I had my knees lipoed) - NOW GRIP IT AND RIP IT!!!!!!

Oh the world of golf - what an interesting pastime.
Mother goose

A LITTLE CREATIVITY GOES A LONG WAY

Creativity calls on something from within and it doesn't have to be on a grand scale. Look what God did when He spoke the world into existence.No matter how small a creative thought begins, it takes on a life of its own none the less, when it's finished.
It's most satisfying to write music this way and rarely a day goes by that I don't allow my fingers to play by themselves on the keys of my piano. It doesn't matter what key I start on - my mind scans the skills of scales, chords, and arpeggios from years of practice while I explore the patterns. Soon the sounds connect to experiences from my memories and the words join together and I'm running to find a pencil because its coming faster than I will be able to remember.
This simple chord progression (C to E minor resolved to G, then F,C, G, C ) became the basis for my Peace Anthem

What cost for freedom - the right of all?
What cost for justice - and peace forever more?
Should the cost of freedom bring Gods of War?
And the blood and the guts and the Horror?

When will the people cry out "No more!"
No more bombs, no more blood and NO MORE WAR!!

Why must we conquer our fellow man
Born to the earth - We are all made of the land.
Who gives this power to reign over a man
Let God rule within, Let no mortal win
Share freedoms hand

Of course the life of a song is in the hearing and that(music production) is a creation for another day.
Mother goose

MATING FOR LIFE

While taking a bath (where I do most of my serious ponderings)I remembered last fall seeing a single Canada goose crossing the road I travel frequently on the way to the freeway. This same single goose day after day was there as if waiting for something - and then I realized it should have flown south with the rest of the flocks weeks ago and yet here he(or she) was wondering the roadside as if searching for something.Oh, I knew why - the mate was missing, or dead, and the one left was definitely not leaving without something or someone.

Geese are one of the species that mate for life. One mate - for life. Wolves mate for life too. And Eagles. I'm not a biologist by any means but I'd say that sets a pretty good example for the rest of us civilized beings to follow.

My twin daughter Jillian will be married next month to a very fine young man from a good and kind, hard working family. I hope that she will find a devotion equivalent to the goose in my path that day. It is the best I could wish for any young couple because I know that kind of love myself.

One love forever - there's nothing that compares to that!
MUM

THRIFTSTORE ADDICTION

I get the greatest thrill finding treasures at the Goodwill, consignment or thrift shops. Like this small bureau or the Italian ceramic fruit centerpiece on the top. Of course lots of dealers roam these stores as well, but they're looking for resale items and I'm looking at quality and good value for decorating my home.

This small 3 drawer piece only stands 30 inches tall but it will hold games, sheet music and keep clutter to a minimum while looking attractive and all for only $29. One might expect to pay as much as $400 new when you consider the quality of construction - dovetailed drawers, dust tops for each, and solid walnut wood not pressboard. The detailed design is what one would expect to find on Drexel or Ethan Allen furniture, but there were no identifying marks. One small mar on the top is covered by the cloth and won't be noticed at all.
I've cleaned all the insides first with woodsoap and water and then with a mixture of furniture polish and lavender oil that I make up myself. It takes away any cigarette or musty smells as well as giving it an attractive aroma for future openings.
Sometimes my day is just not complete without a visit to the local second hand stores. I keep a sharp eye for usable items from vintage tableware, bowls and teapots, to furniture, framed art and even unusual purses for fun.

Most often I use the inspiration technique when decorating a space. First,you find all the pieces for the space without any hesitation for price - only quality, design and beauty, at the high end designer stores. Then when you have a vision in place substitute the pieces with similar lines and color from your favorite thrift shops.
Of course this could take a few months or even years but by then you have not only saved thousands, you've spent time appreciating quality in American craftsmanship and history.

After all the years that I've spent browsing junk shops, my most precious memories can be triggered by these castoffs; where I was when I found each one, and even if I came home empty handed, I had a sense of the cities and towns I visited just by scanning the local thrift shops.

I never considered myself as a collector because displays of endless collectibles loses their creativity after awhile. If I find something useful and it has vintage value as well -THAT is nirvana and perhaps my confession of addiction is slightly justified after all.

Mum

I'M SICK AND TIRED OF BUSH BASHERS

I get angry when Americans bash their own president. From neighbors to celebrity comments like how dumb he is or how wrong his foreign policy is, to impeachment demands, its sickening to me.
The only people that are really benefiting from these tirades are our competitors on the globe. And most of them already hate us. We are our own worst enemy. Not the terrorists, communists or even ultra suave Europeans, but you and me who can't see that we are being used by the media and the constant phony polling statistics.

We continue to listen to opinionated Hollywood white trash born "now I have money and status" loudmouths who constantly criticize the American government and its leader. Just where do they think they got their money and fame from anyway? They should stick to what they do well which is play make believe all day instead of trying to stimulate the guilt glands of the rest of us.

What is so awful about Mr Bush anyway? He has a boatload of advisers that come from the highest institutions of learning. When Mr Clinton was president he had the sex appeal factor so we overlooked his governing qualities altogether. What did he really do that we remember anyway. He'll go down in history as the guy with the cigar fetish.

Besides you don't need charisma to run a great business anyway. Look at Bill Gates. Now THERE is an attractive man with all the charm of the geeksquad. Even Donald Trump is an embarrassment if you think about the combover hairdo. But they run great businesses and isn't the business of America business? If it wasn't then what are we all doing in the land of opportunity? We voted this guy in and like it or not we are being watched by the world.

The fickle American masses need some crowd control and if they don't like their lifestyle stop blaming everyone else and change themselves. After that get some junkyard dog lawyers on the media themselves. Who made them God anyway. How dare they point out the faults of our leaders for us. We can do it ourselves, thank you very much. The next time these media guys point the finger I say lets lay them out under the microscope for a few years and scrutinize them within an inch of their proverbial lives See how they survive their own tactics!

I'm not advocating silencing free speech or opinions (obviously) only have some respect for the highest office in our country and act like we are on the same team.

Mother Goose
PS I was born in Canada and I know how they feel about Americans

FINDING YOURSELF

"I have to find myself" A sixties expression also used in a recent Eric Clapton song from his CD "Reptile". We 're a fairly open society compared to those days but it begs the question -Are you lost? It's one of those sayings that other non English-speaking cultures would have a difficult time translating.

At the time it was an easy excuse to drop out of society and the accepted norm of the wasp(white Anglo Saxon) culture, usually with the help of drugs but now it has developed into a much broader meaning for a persons conflicted feelings about themselves and where they fit on the globe and drugs may or may not play a part.

Remember Robert DeNiro, the mobster in "Analyze This" with Billy Crystal as his shrink? He had conflicted feelings about who he was as a mob boss and the need to make choices different from what he was born into.


Finding yourself means finding the true essence of spirit trapped inside flesh. It's ironic that people that look beautiful on the outside are often times the most stunted spirits because they have relied so much on outward appearances and can masquerade as so much more than they really are. Likewise the reverse is true. Did you see the movie "Shallow Hal" with Gwyneth Paltrow as the fat girl? She had developed beauty from the inside.

Where are you and where are you going? Searching your soul (the deepest part of you) for true feelings is what feeds the spirit and forms your character. Being able to answer hard questions about the choices you have made strengthens the mind and spirit connection. The more you do that the stronger you become.

Taking inventory of your failures and successes keeps your spirit on the right path to maturity and wisdom. Every experience teaches you how to dance with grace and confidence. If you went looking for yourself, visualize that.

To your own self be true.

Mum